Is it me?

I don't know if I'm especially apt to anger these days because I'm chock-full of hormones, if the weather is making me cranky, if the universe is paying me back for something, or a combination of all three, but I feel like I'm about to haul off and go postal on just about anyone who rubs me the wrong way. 

Here is the list of some of the things that have pissed me off over the past week:

1.  I made an appointment for a teeth cleaning today.  I went to the dentist, sat in the waiting room for fifteen minutes, and then asked the receptionist when I could expect to be seen.  I was told that the hygienist was just turning over her room, and would be right with me.  I was told the same thing when I asked fifteen minutes later, and again fifteen minutes after that.  So, after forty-five minutes of waiting, I may have pitched bit of a fit.  But, this was only after I told them that I didn't have all day to sit and wait to get my teeth cleaned.  The receptionist then told me that the hygienist probably wouldn't have time to see me that day and I should reschedule.  I told them they weren't the only provider that billed by the hour and they should expect to see a bill for my services and the time I wasted sitting around in their lobby.  Yes, I made a small scene but I don't think I'm sorry that I did.  Needless to say, I don't think I'm going back to Metro Dental. 

2.  Because I had made my appointment over the lunch hour, I didn't eat.  I don't know if this happens to any other pregnant ladies, but when I don't eat at my regularly scheduled feeding times, I get cranky.  As evidenced by the tantrum I threw in the dentist's office.  So, all I wanted to do was go back to my office and eat my lunch.  But, the skyways seemed to be jammed with members of the Hugeass Tribe.  I don't know if anyone else has noticed this phenomena, but there seems to be an influx of women, walking two or three across in the skyways, ambling as slowly as possible, and taking up the entire skyway, making it literally impossible to pass in either direction without turning sideways and flattening yourself against the wall.  I know I'm being bitchy, but I would appreciate it if the Tribe would consent to give people a passing lane. 

3.  On Sunday night, I cooked corn on the cob.  I pulled the lid off the pot and put it in the sink.  I guess I didn't let it cool down enough because when I went to rinse the glass lid, it exploded in my sink.  As a result, tiny shards of glass got stuck in my garbage disposal.  I spent a good hour on Sunday night, trying to clean it out and make the disposal work again, but it didn't happen and I had to call a plumber.  I had to because we're selling the house, and I couldn't fix the problem.  So, the plumber came today, and charged me $175.00 for twenty minutes of work.  Literally.  That just makes me sad.  He's probably really mad when the dentist makes him wait since he charges $525.00 an hour, I guess. 

4.  I'm having other issues at work, that I won't really get in to.  I have problems with people not meeting their deadlines, or doing a half-assed job on assignments which, in turn, causes me to scramble.  I will say this though - in the month of July, I had twelve depositions scheduled.  Of those twelve depositions, not one deponent showed up for the examination.  This is a huge waste of my time.  That being said, not only did these witnesses fail to appear, but they LIED about why they didn't show up.  I don't know what that's about because first of all, I'm not stupid.  Second of all, I'm not going to give up because someone didn't show for their deposition.  And, when we finally get to your deposition, I'm going to ask you why you lied. 

5.  Up at the cabin, I got attacked by a zillion mosquitoes and have bug bites on every surface of my body.  They itch and make me cranky. 

Okay, so enough complaining.  It just seems to be an accumulation of tiny little issues that have been setting me off and snowballing into the next issue.  As Jeff is so fond of telling me, I need to find some serenity.  It also makes me mad when he says that. 

*Update:  I just got off the phone with my mom and went through all the things that have angered me over the day, and when we were saying good bye, I started crying.  Dissolution into insane, sobbing mess = crazy, hormonal pregnant lady. 

Twenty Three Weeks

What a difference a week can make!  Last Thursday, I went to bed and on Friday, I woke up with a bump!  And I'm not even joking, it's a real, bonafide baby bump!  Which meant, of course, that I had to go shopping.  It kind of makes me sad, buying maternity clothes.  Mostly because I think that the stores rip you off because pregnant ladies really don't have any other option.  It's not like you can run around naked, you actually have to buy new clothes.  I tried a maternity consignment store that I found in Hopkins, and the minute I walked in, I knew I'd made a mistake.  The entire place smelled like feet and body odor.  I know I sound like a brat, but I toughed it out and spent a few minutes poking around the racks and discovered that people were selling tents from the 1980s as opposed to anything that would be considered stylish today.  So, I will say that I made a solid ten minute effort before scooting out of there.  I had better luck at Gap, which now has a maternity section - at least the one in Southdale did.  So, here we are at twenty-three weeks, wearing some of my new wardrobe:

This week, the baby weighs about 1.5 pounds, and is as big as an ear of corn.  Which sounds really good and I would like to eat one this weekend.  Or twelve, it doesn't matter.  His facial features are almost fully formed right now, although he still needs to work on gaining weight, which I'm given to understand happens mostly in the third trimester.  He is bobbing and weaving all over the place.  Last night, I actually thought I could feel him pounding on my right side.  Like he had his fists up and was hitting a punching bag over and over again.  His hearing is fully developed now, and he can hear most of the noises that I hear on a daily basis.  I have long conversations with him, telling him about all the exciting things that will be happening in the next few months.  I tell him about his family, what we're going to do when he gets here, what the weather will be like, just really mundane stuff.  I know that must seem weird because I probably sound like Charlie Brown's teacher to him, and he can't even understand what I'm saying, but it comforts me to know that he's there.  I find myself anxious and waiting to feel the first raps on my belly in the morning, telling me he's awake. 

Because the belly is growing at a rapid rate (seriously, can you believe the difference?!?) I'm feeling some definite growing pains.  Sometimes, my skin feels like it's too tight and I'm finding it harder and harder to get out of a reclined or slouched position.  The rapid growing has also made this mama tired, and it's a miracle if I'm up and awake (or at least not in bed) by 8:30 every night.  But that's okay, it won't last forever.  

Last week, I went up and looked around at some day cares, and I couldn't believe what they have to offer.  One had BABY YOGA (as if this kid is going to be able to do anything other than corpse pose for the first three months of life), Spanish lessons, sign language...I couldn't believe all the stuff there was.  Another center made me think that you just drop your kid off and pick him up exactly where you left him eight hours later (I got out of that place in a hurry).  I've still got to go look at a few more places before Jeff and I make a final decision, but it will feel good to have that crossed off the list, at least. 

We're going to the cabin this weekend with some good friends of ours.  The height of my ambition this weekend is to take a five hour nap.  And eat some corn.  We'll see if I can achieve my high reaching goals. 

 

Twenty Two Weeks

Well, we are now really getting into some interesting "side effects" of being pregnant.  I'm really not that big yet (as evidenced below) but that doesn't mean I'm not experiencing a whole new set of symptoms...

1.  Swelling.  This could have to do with the fact that the heat index yesterday was 119 and moving from a hot environment to a cool one actually made one ill, but the heat has not been fun.  I've tried to stay very hydrated, remain inside, relax, and take it easy, but even with all those preventative measures, my ankles and toes started to swell.  Fortunately, I live in a state where the temperature swings about 160 degrees over the year, and so today, it was about thirty degrees cooler and perfect weather.  The ankle swelling has gotten under control.  Which also means I can start to wear dresses again.  I couldn't before because my ankles were so poufy, that I had to rest my legs on my desk, which would have resulted in an inappropriate display of the lady parts.  Thus, pants were necessary.    

2.  Food issues.  This baby and I have a very different idea of what "tastes good."  For starters, I love spicy foods.  The baby does not.  In addition, he also does not like rich foods (or Chino Latino or Lebanese foods either, for that matter).  Or anything new.  I suppose that shouldn't really surprise me, since I largely existed on buttered noodles and Ensure the first four months of pregnancy, but I wish I could add a little variety to the diet.  I had a shrimp po' boy for lunch today.  It was amazing, however I am absolutely paying for it now and all the Tums I'm consuming are really taking away from my post-lunch satisfaction.  I also have more than just a passing curiosity that this is why I felt so terribly last weekend.  I will be at a loss if this baby ends up with a food palette like his Uncle Chris. 

3.  Back pain.  Seriously folks, this is no joke.  Duckie says it has to do with the placement of my uterus and the position of the baby.  As I progress in pregnancy, the position of my uterus shifts, placing pressure on different nerves in my spine.  The good news is that the pain is temporary.  The baby will move along again in a few weeks, but the bad news is that it sometimes feels like I lost a leg or something.  I've been doing prenatal yoga, stretching, exercising and walking, but it's not really helping. 

4.  The dreams.  Oh goodness, the dreams.  They have never been more real, more disturbing, or more frequent.  One night, I dreamt I was playing football and then running hill drills.  Another night, I dreamt that I gave birth to a Ken doll and shopped for it in the toy department at Target.  Another night, I had a dream that I had been tasked with finding Charlize Theron's mother (who, unfortunately, had Alzheimer's) in the abandoned subway tunnels in New York only to reunite her (not with Charlize) but with her beloved beagle.  Seriously folks, you can't make this stuff up. 

All in all, these symptoms are really mild compared to other ones I could develop.  In my weekly "What to Expect When You're Expecting" update, by this point in my pregnancy, I should have stretch marks, huge feet, a dark line running down my belly (linea nigra), the "mask of pregnancy" (which apparently is a discoloration around my entire face), in addition to other skin tone discolorations.  Holy crap.  This "update" makes it sound like there are some women that turn into sea creatures when they get pregnant.  Okay, time to stop complaining now. 

So, here we are at twenty-two weeks (if you want to check out bump progress, check out my picture from seventeen weeks.  I was wearing the same dress.  I also continue to question whether or not my ass is pregnant or not because that really has no problem growing)....

Slowly but surely, you can tell the baby is growing...and this week, we move out of the produce department.  Apparently, the baby is now the size of a small doll (think Ken?).  This week marks the beginning of some serious weight gain.  He should double his weight in the next four weeks and blood vessels are developing.  I am continually amazed that all that is going on inside me.  He continues to remain very active and I can tell when he's awake and sleeping now.  For example, I know he is up between 6:30 and 8:00 every night.  The rest of the day, I know he's sleeping and just absentmindedly kicking (or punching) me in his sleep.  However, he really gets his work out in around dinner time.  I called him my tiny heavyweight a few weeks ago, and I think he really has his heart set on becoming a boxer.     

Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off and heading up to our new neighborhood to check out day cares.  I'm going to start with the centers first, and then work my way to home care providers.  I'm not sure what will be best yet, but just like a good lawyer, I'm doing my research. 

In somewhat unrelated news, today marks the one year anniversary of my miscarriage.  I had kept a blog about our struggles to get pregnant, and I went back and read the entries I posted shortly after we lost the first baby.  It still makes me sad, and I suppose that it always will.  It makes me sad to think of how desperate I felt at that point in time.  However, I also think I'd be feeling much differently today if we weren't pregnant currently.  I had compared that period of my life to the break up I had with my first boyfriend.  I remember feeling like I could never overcome the sadness or find a way to reclaim who I was before that event.  And, I know that I'm different now than I was a year ago because of that experience.  I think that I developed a lot of compassion for people going through the same struggles we had, but I also think it made me more cynical in some respects.  Regardless, I'm not dwelling on it, I only think it's a testament to how much life can change in a year.   

I know we are where we are supposed to be now in our lives.  I can take comfort in that fact.

The Walk of Shame...

When I was in college, the "walk of shame" used to mean something much different than it does now.  Back in my Bennie days, we used to say that an individual did the "walk of shame" after spending the night somewhere other than your residence (obviously after a party or the bar), and walking home early in the morning, in the clothes you wore the night before.  This "walk of shame" can be seen regularly on Saturday and Sunday mornings around my current neighborhood in the North Loop downtown.  For someone who's an early riser, it's always brought a smile to my face to watch the girls hustle to their cars, wearing tiny dresses, carrying their high heels in one hand, and sporting mascara rimming their red eyes. 

Regardless, a few of my girlfriends and I have started to refer to our own "walk of shame" as going to the emergency room, and leaving without having given birth.  This happened to me on Saturday night.  However, I don't know if I'd qualify it as a "walk of shame" since I am really happy I didn't waltz out of there with a baby.  

On Friday night, I woke up in the middle of the night with really bad stomach cramps.  They were so bad it actually hurt to breathe and it felt like my whole stomach was on fire.  I walked around for a bit, drank a bunch of water and things eventually settled down.  When I woke up on Saturday, I was still feeling a little cramped, but it wasn't as bad as it was the night previous.  In any case, my stomach started hurting as the day went on.  I didn't really have much of an appetite, and everything I ate made me feel queasy.  Still, in light of the fact that I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions, I called Duckie.*

I really wanted to see if I could take anything for the cramps beyond an occasional Tums.  However, Duckie's nurse told me to head straight to the Labor & Delivery wing at Methodist Hospital.  So, that's what I did.  And I stayed there.  For the next seven hours.  At the end, Duckie (who was fortunately, on call that evening) told me to take some Pepto Bismol.  Uh, thanks Duckie.  I wish your nurse would have told me that.  Seven hours ago.  So, I left Methodist Hospital, doing the "walk of shame." 

I will say that the visit was not a total waste.  They did another ultrasound and I got to see our active little baby boy.  He is really something else.  He has figured out how to shoot himself from one side of my uterus to the other.  He also definitely figured out how to grip, as he had his hand tight around the umbilical cord and was yanking as hard as his one-pound self was able.  He has also figured out how to kick me (which, I suppose we already knew, seeing as how he's been popping me for a while).  Lastly, he has also discovered his hand and I can confirm that I saw ten fingers.   

So, at the end of the day, I had the flu.  I got home, ate some soup, drank some water, and went to bed for twelve hours.  I woke up yesterday morning and felt fine.  While I wouldn't define this as a "walk of shame," I am surprised at how overly cautious everyone is when evaluating a pregnant woman.  And I guess it should be no surprise, but I can't wait to see how my insurance reacts. 

*Change:  Colonel Sanders (a.k.a. Dr. Rhodes, my obstetrician) will now be called Duckie.  This is after the character as seen on NCIS.  I had spent most of Friday night watching NCIS reruns only to realize that Dr. Rhodes looks EXACTLY like Duckie.  I realized this when I was in the hospital on Saturday night.   

Twenty One Weeks

I feel like I really don't have the energy to write much today...but I wanted to update you all on the appointment we had on Wednesday with Colonel Sanders.  To begin, everything with the baby looks great.  There were no abnormalities seen on the ultrasound, which is great news.  The bad news is that his mama isn't eating enough for two...it doesn't harm or hurt the baby in any way, he'll take what he needs from me, but it sure does drain a woman.  I haven't really gained much weight - only two pounds and I should have gained about twelve this far into pregnancy.  It's okay though - it will come.  I just need to focus on making conscious, calorie laden, healthy food choices.  Jeff is out of town this weekend - he went camping - we'll see how long that lasts.  Last night, I got home and crawled into bed around 5:30 and stayed there until about 8:30 this morning.  I think that is perfectly fine.  The one nice thing about Jeff being gone is that I don't have to pick up after anyone but myself...not that I don't miss him, let's just say I don't miss his mess.  So, here we are at twenty-one weeks...in my pre-pregnancy jeans, I might add...

Again, there's not much to report in the bump department.  Still pretty minimal findings.  The doctors keep telling me that I'll have a HUGE belly in the next few weeks, but then time passes and there's still nothing.  

This week, baby boy is as big as a spaghetti squash and weighs about a pound.  My tiny heavyweight.  Apparently, I should also expect my feet to start growing (as if they weren't water skis before!) but it won't stop my from wearing heels!  My secretary teases me that they're going to roll me into the delivery room, wearing a pair of stilettos.  She may be right. 

This week, the baby learns how to grip and will be holding tight to the umbilical cord.  I was also convinced that he found a rib (which is probably impossible) because it certainly felt like he was swinging from my chest wall.  He can also perceive light and darkness and has started to sprout hair.  He's also got fully developed eyelashes and eyebrows.  It's kind of crazy to think that can be packaged up into one pound and is just sitting in my belly. 

In any case, we've turned the corner and are now headed into the downward slope of pregnancy.  Nineteen weeks to go until we can meet this little man.                       

Update...

So, having a baby boy is quite the big deal, I guess...there have been lots of comments about Baby Storms that have been made today...I'm posting just a few of my favorites...

From my mom:  "Well, I guess you know why he was kicking you so hard at the Britney Spears concert.  He was like, "Get me outta here, ma!""

From my boss, Mike:  "Is this the picture of his Johnson?  Good boy.  It looks like he's ready to go." 

From my other boss, Mike:  "Just so you know, I've picked out several names for your baby.  Come see me when you're off the phone."

Introducing...

Well, my maternal intuition must be off, because we found out this morning that we are having a little boy!  We are both beyond excited.  I kind of had my head wrapped around the idea that it was going to be a little girl, so the mental shift is somewhat of a game changer, but beyond that, nothing could make me happier!  During the ultrasound this morning, he had his legs crossed the entire time, and the ultrasound technician told us that was a surefire sign it was a girl.  But then, he opened his legs and guess what popped out? 

He may not love the idea that I'm posting pictures of his naughty bits on the Internet, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him!  The technician took one look at this picture and declared that we were going to be having a boy because in her words, "If you're not having a little boy, I'm going to be awfully curious as to what that thing is!"  Jeff, of course, is ecstatic and was fist pumping through the remainder of the ultrasound, and ran out of the room like some prize fighter that just took down the reigning heavyweight champion. 

They took lots of measurements during this ultrasound, however we need to go back to see Colonel Sanders on Wednesday to figure out what everything means.  But, he's got two legs and two arms and they're both the same length.  He's got all parts of his brain and spine.  If you can tell by the profile picture, he's got one of his arms up by his head and was waving to us during the ultrasound.  We also got to see a close up of his nose, and it looks just like Jeff's nose. 

This whole thing is absolutely surreal.  I've got a tiny heavyweight sitting in my belly right now, topping the scales at fourteen ounces.  We are so excited to meet him.  I suppose I should go back and correct all my prior posts, huh?