Eleven Weeks

I had a rough morning.  I put on a pair of pants and tank top, only to discover that my clothes don't fit me the way that they once did.  In fact, this morning, they looked terrible, which caused a cascade of tears.  I guess I never really realized how much of my self esteem was tied up in my weight and image.  Even with the way my body is changing, I'm still smaller than I used to be, but I wasn't quite prepared for the change.  This is a good thing, I know.  I'm getting bigger, which means you are, little one, and that's what we want.  And I should prepare myself because it's not like I'm going to get any smaller...

So, here's our picture at eleven weeks:

The picture doesn't really show off what's really going on.  If you looked at me straight on from the side, you could see the tiny little bump that's starting to pop out.  And, I think it's doing me good to see this picture because things aren't as dire as I made them out to be.  Maybe I should have taken a picture in the pants and tank top...ha! 

So, I also read this morning that you're all done "developing" and you've got all your body parts, internal organs, facial features, and fingernails.  It's amazing to me to think that a baby can literally develop all it's life sustaining organs and human parts in just under three months.  Learning about what you're going through, and what you're doing, little one, is just amazing to me.  The book says you're about the size of a plum now, and are weighing in at about a half ounce.  And from now through Thanksgiving, your primary goal is just to grow, and I suppose it's my goal too.  If you need to get bigger, then I'll get bigger along with you. 

Maybe one day, little one, I'll share with you all that your daddy and I went through just to get to this point.  And considering the amount of complaining I've been doing, I don't think it really reflects how grateful I am that the worst truly is over.  Today is Cinco de Mayo.  It was one year ago that I was laying on an operating table while the doctors poked around inside me to figure out what the heck was wrong with me.  The fact that we're sitting here, one year later, and I'm almost through my first trimester of pregnancy is a pretty amazing thing, if you ask me.  I just can't get over what they can do with medicine.  And let's be honest, life is a miracle anyways, so I suppose that we should be glad we had a little luck on our side (in addition to the Clomid, of course).